Victoria Beckham claims her entire life has been plagued by an eating disorder.
RadarOnline.com can reveal the former Spice Girl made the admission during her new Netflix documentary, which is released today.
‘I Didn’t Like What I Saw’
Victoria says constant body-shaming deeply impacted her well-being.
The fashionista’s weight has been scrutinized ever since she made her name in the British girl band, but never before has she gone into detail about how her being body-shamed led to personal torment — which started way back in her theatre school days.
Victoria, 51, said: “I really started to doubt myself and not like myself and because I let it affect me, I didn’t know what I saw when I looked in the mirror.
“Was I fat? Was I thin? I don’t know, you lose all sense of reality. I was just very critical of myself. I didn’t like what I saw. I have been everything from porky posh to skinny posh, I mean, it’s been a lot and that’s hard.
Lied To Parents
Victoria admits she lied about her health issues to her parents.
“I had no control over what was being written about me or the pictures that were being taken and I suppose I wanted to control that. I could control it with the clothing, I could control my weight. I was controlling my weight in an incredibly unhealthy way.
“When you have an eating disorder you become very good at lying. And I was never honest about it with my parents.
“I never spoke about it publicly, it really affects you. When you’re told constantly you’re not good enough. And I suppose that’s been with me my whole life.”
Weighed Live On Television
The Spice Girl’s weight has been scrutinized ever since she found fame.
Victoria, who catapulted to fame in the mid-90s with the Spice Girls, also recalls a moment when she was weighed live on television during a chat show appearance to see if she had lost her baby weight just months after giving birth to her eldest son Brooklyn back in 1999.
While at the time she was all smiles, today she reveals the toll that it took on her as a 25-year-old new mum.
“I was weighed on national television,” says Victoria. “‘Get on those scales, have you lost the weight?’ we laugh about it and we joke about it but I was really, really young and that hurts.”
Victoria’s body confidence agony began when she was just a teenager and won a place at prestigious theatre school – which she reveals her parents funded by remortgaging their house.
Victoria was joined by husband David at the London premiere of her documentary.
She tells how despite her hard work she wasn’t the best dancer, or indeed singer. But she also told how she looked different to her classmates.
“I didn’t look like a lot of the other girls,” she says. “That’s where I started getting a lot of criticism about my appearance, my weight.
“I remember the principle of the theatre school saying to me, you know, at the end of the show we are going to just fly in. ‘You girls can be flown in’ meaning that we weren’t looking as aesthetically pleasing as some of the others, ‘so we’ll just fly you in the back.'”
Victoria’s mother Jackie also adds that the star was told “you’re overweight. You’ll be at the back.”
Victoria’s eldest son Brooklyn and wife Nicola Peltz did not attend the premiere amid their ongoing feud.
She added: “It must have affected her, it’s a very silly thing to say to someone, ‘you’re fat.'”
The mother-of-four does not address her feud with eldest son Brooklyn, 26, in the documentary but he and his wife Nicola Peltz, 30, are seen in the background in footage filmed from the Parisien fashion show last year, and there are several poignant photographs and video clips of him as a baby and young boy.
Her other sons appear a couple of times, while there is a scene when daughter Harper, 14, teaches her mum to dance to Chic’s Le Freak at their U.S. apartment for a TikTok video in what is one of the funnier moments.
Brooklyn did not attend the glitzy premiere of the documents in London on Wednesday night, unlike the rest of her clan — and husband David — who posed op for pictures on the red carpet
